That Feeling

Imagine this. For a long time you've been speaking to one person, on and on. You put yourself out there and realise that that person means more to you than what they may even comprehend. Its a good feeling yes?

Now factor this in. That person is tired of you. They (probably) don't see you the same way. You try and reach out to them but you're probably shutting them down even more. You try to talk to them, but its probably annoying that person. That person, right now in your mind, just decides to not exist in your life any more. 

So you go through a lot of shit, you probably even realise that the person is doing it in your best interest, but that doesn't cut it. You want that person to be with you irrespective of what is going on. You try your best to make sure that they get what they want, i.e., you out of their face. You try really hard. You do everything in your power to let them be and try and not miss them as much as you can. 

Well, the thing is, the more you miss them, the more the fear creeps in that they probably aren't going to come back. That's the feeling I'm talking about.

You've begin to realise that sometimes you miss things when they are gone, and that hurts. The simple sweet nothings, the unlimited hours of nonsensical blabber, all gone. There's a weird sensation at that point. You want to let them be, but your insecurities surface. You begin to feel like shit, and you may take an oath to stay away but you break it just so you can make things better (probably not realising that you are, at that point, just making it worse.) We tend to miss people for the sole reason that their mere presence makes you a better person and picks you up from the dump and puts you right back on your throne. 

Those people are rare and they are worth the fight. They are worth every day, hour, minute and second of your time. You make a decision right then that you'd let them be, but only time will tell if you can keep your word.

Only time will tell whether (as much as this may hurt to hear) you mean as much to that person as them to you.

At the end of it, you still are the best judge. No other person knows what you feel for that "person" and that is the hardest part.